I recalled a few days ago, a colleague of mine commented: “All c*nts smells the same smelly smell. They smell like wet ear wax all the same!”

I lamented: “You go dig your ear wax and smell it meh??”

He: ” Ya lar! you don’t meh??”

ERK. Gross.

I don’t know about him, but i don’t think he really go up front and personal with one before. Therefore, he associates with something he can poke and smell then.

But this doesn’t matter to today’s post, or most of it. Today’s post will see something very peculiar and close to heart to well, most of us.

WHY SINGAPOREAN MEN ARE SUCH LOSERS

Dun get me wrong here, i’m not really into explaining the cause and effect of it again and again like in the minds of millions of Singaporean ladies. Seriously, i would LURVEEeee to see how pathetic they are by saying it again and again. But, this post is not to bruise their egoistical-”balls-of-steel”.

Instead, i offer solutions and advices. FOC, and free consultation thrown in too. Yes, read carefully…your next bonk may be in these lines…

1. Fact: Singaporean guys are boring.
This one’s easy. Try to do something that you had not done every week. Be it childish or lavish, you can have fun and experience something than getting your ass kicked on Xbox Live every week by that same kid ya?

2. Fact: Singaporean guys are boring to be with.
See number 1. Then do it with your partner. You’ll be amazed.

3. Fact: Singaporean guys are misers with their money.
You earn your keep. You earn to live. Live the life you want it to be. If it brings the fun you can’t get it anywhere, use the dough. See number 2.

4. Fact: Singaporean guys are misers with their feelings.
Express yourself coherently. Guys who express their feelings are not gay. Futhermore, lady understands you better and can stop the guessing.
Rule of thumb: Positive feelings goes excessive. Negative feelings goes halved.

5. Fact: Singaporean guys are not gentlemen.
Treat your lady right. Give her the attention she needs from you. Listen and maintain eye contact. Hold/Open the door for her. Stand up when she sits down. Push in the chair for her after she sat. lay the napkin for her. Stop the cursing and Army Stories. MANNERS!! Yes, its a lot of work. But don’t you think it will be a powerful babe magnet? Every lady loves a gentleman. Enjoy giving these little attention to her with grace. You never know what you’re getting at.

6. Fact:EGO
Tone it all the way down to bearable lows. A lady doesn’t want to see your big ass ego. They want love (well, mostly.). Leave the ego at the door when arguing, it clouds judgement and speech. In short, hide it in your pants when she’s around. See 4.

7. Fact: Singaporean guys are perverts.
Just respect the lady bits and parts ya? What she has to reveal, your mom has it too. Stop oogling. 2 short glances is the maximum. More than that, you’re giving her too much attention.

I think that covers most of the points.The point is, you dont have to gay or a genius to understand a Singaporean Lady. Their standards did not rise with the Return of the Expats. It’s that we don’t really spend much time grooming ourselves to be the gentlemen we are supposed to be. Think, the 2.5 years spent in NS, what is the first thing you hear from everyone’s mouth day in day out?

We are trained to be men there, but what our declining birthrate wants is a gentleman.

Dua Pai Lang

The day came around again fast. It’s been 3 months since the last. I’ve been quite looking forward to it tho’. It’s been a ritual to me. The scars of my body, i think this one only gives me the ones that im proud of.

And this is probably my healthiest hobby. Ever.

Playful drops blood

Yes, i’m a regular donor. It’s not as frightening as you may see. Its actually almost orgasmic.

I went to the BloodBank at Outram for my fix. There i register with the friendly lady at the counter and fill up the questionaire.

After which, i go to a small room with a cute doctor to have my weight and some mandatory questions asked (Had paid/unprotected sex, been together with people with Hep A,B,C-Z, blah blah). Blood pressure taken and off to the next station.

Next is the most painful part, they used a small gadget to give u a quick prick at your fingertip and use a small little pipette to collect a sample of your blood to test for your iron. If it floats in copper sulphate(or which i think it is, cos it’s blue and my chemistry sucks), your iron-deficient. If you’re not, they want your blood.

Insert Here

This is not the painful part. Although it may seem to you like a fugging thick needle. The fact is, it is – all 1.5mm fugging thickness of it. But it doesn’t hurt abit. The only painful part of it comes before that 1.5mm fugging thickness. It’s the 0.5mm fugging anaesthetic needle that they plug it just some distance below your skin and pump it out.

That one hurts. Alot. Like your BCG injection. Ouch.

Spill my blood, see it flow. Is your love only so?

Almost immediately, the bag got filled with my blood. Nice gushing nicotine-laced blood. })

Man-handling the ball.

You gonna gently squeeze the ball like you handle a lady’s assets to pump the blood out. Too hard, you’ll risk the needle poking into your muscles and bruising yourself.

330ml of Vampire’s Poison

After 10mins or so, im done!

Funky green bandage with Barney.

For your effort, they give you some refreshments and one beanie from the last World Donor Day Event. How Sweet.

Seal bun goes well with milo. Beanie just crumples.

So anyway, it’s a rewarding gift of love, don’t you think so? One pack of your blood saves 3 lives as what i heard. And the process is done in 30mins. So com’on guys/ladies, donate some of your life-saving blood! Stop wasting it hard-jacking drugs into it or by your monthly cycle! Give it to others! Beats the hell outta calling 1900s, no?

More info here and here, heard they need more young blood (donors).

Dua Pai Lang

Kenny does it again.

Last qns isn’t fun tho’.

Dua Pai Lang

Sometimes,
i feel like falling down into the blackness,
to see the darkness eat me up,
to feel the coldness sting my skin,
to taste the loneliness eat my heart out.

I want to feel the very pulse of my heart,
ripping the blood through my veins.

I want to see the world fade around me,
knowing the rest are there to suffer.

I want to know why is it so hard to love one,
when she don’t really know you well.

Her fault? Or mine?

Doesn’t matter, i’ll say.

We are all born into this reality,
Just to see the world in a different light.

Light? Darkness?

Doesn’t matter, i’ll say.

To me, everything’s just plain white, black and gray.
There’s nothing right or wrong,
Yours or mine,
Everybody’s just here for the ride.

I just got the bad seat beside yours.

Dua Pai Lang

I came back last night tired and grumpy at 1am. Logged into MSN and my dear jiemei, prrincess decided i came in handy and at a nick of time.

You see, her dear friend, J had a very broken heart. And, my dear jiemei, prrincess is too tired and too sleepy to console her broken heart. So, she apparently pushed J into our conversation and asked me to deal with her.

How convenient, right? This kind of jiemei how to find, you ask me?

After my jiemei do her customary goodbyes and mushy-mashies, she collapsed into her bed and sank into the spring coils. Leaving me and J in the converstation.

Being a mentor to them is no easy business i tell you. Especially when they come by to ask you in the matters of the heart.

Ask me for what?~ ! You forget i am luvphobic meh?

Anyway, listening to her story is one heart-wrenching thing. I couldn’t understand why teens nowadays are soooooo blind to things that are placed matter-of-factly infront of them.
They blindly fall in love but yet, don’t understand the true meaning of love.
They felt love, but still feels empty inside.
They see love in the TV, and modelled their relationships to that pedigree level.
They hear love from their friends, and seek to outdo one and another.
They fail miserably, taking everything down with them.

What is the fucking matter with teens nowdays?!?

I really sympatise with J. Seeing her going such self-inflicted pain and suffering is really something i can’t handle well. That fucking son of a bitch is such a despised jerk. To resort to emotional blackmail, is that something that you will do to someone that you love, you tell me? Fucking knnbccb muthafarker! Is that a doing of a gentleman, you say? Anyway, fucking son of a bitch is two-timing somemore – with both girls knowing that there’s a third party! I don’t know how he does it, but J is devastated because of the fact that she doesn’t want to get hurt AND hurt him by letting go of him.

Wah lao ehhhhhh! My dear friend, he is not loving you with all his heart! Probably when he goes out with you, he’s thinking about the other girl! He probably be boasting to his bunch of equally “fucking son of a bitch” friends about having TWO girls around him. And probably, they will have a sick competition out of it.

Okay, ’nuff with J. Back to stupid lovelorn teens teens.

I mean, teens will be teens. They are young, they think they have nothing to lose. They got nothing to fear.
Loving someone will be like “Yea..i love her, she’s my XiAoBaByLiAn“.
Then, after when the fire’s out “Aiya, no more feeling liao lar. Breakup lor….”.

Easy said. Easy Done.

Do they really understand how much is needed to love someone? To cherish her? To protect her? To see her as your everything, everyday?

Do they really understand how much pain and depression one has to go through to lose someone? To not able to pass your life with her? To be not able to say “Goodbye and Thank you for your love?”?

Please kids, if you think you can’t understand the meaning of love. Start with understanding the meaning of friendship. If you can’t even understand that, pleaaaazzzeeee don’t go around breaking hearts, ya?

Fishing is a enriching hobby, i tell ya. You learn to cultivate your patience, you learn to work your brain a little to outsmart that bugger swimming in its world and you learn from your mistakes.

Fishing has been a hobby of mine since young. Recently, it was rekindled back into existence by my SnoreKing Bro-in-law and his long time brudder, W. We, the 3 Musketeers of Longkang as we call ourselves has gone places – places that brought us countless fun and mosquitoe bites. Places you may never know exist like these:

FWAAAAAaaaH! WOOOT!!

How to find such a place, you tell me?

How to quit fishing like that, you tell me???
Like that how?? No fishing then do what?
Squat at MRT and start ‘zhut-ing‘ mei-mei ah?

Cannot this cannot that. How can??

Fuck lar, go back to star-gazing lar better.

Rigggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhht. Looks like Kennysia beat me to the personality game. I’m gonna do mine anyway. Haaaaaaaaaa

Great. I’m done.

How is it? Comments?
Old look here.

Dua Pai Lang

Okay.

Maybe this look is too plain. I wish to have a more readable font size than
this tiny-weeny size which i’ll need to stare hard enough till i see
colourful flowers. Maybe i could do something about it.

Yea, i should. During the weekend prehaps.

Oh well, the angst of being critically vain!

Oh, from reading most of my fav bloggers, i’ve quite developed a mental
picture of what their character is like. Okay, i know its baaaaaaaaad to
psychoanalyse them. But hey, just for the fun of it, why not? Maybe i’ll be
correct, maybe i’m not. Who knows?

But this takes time. Without the aid of clinical questioning, this could be
hard. Since its so hard, i’ll just develop their analysis from their blogs
instead! Whether they are writing from their alter-ego or not, let’s see
what we could get to, ya?

This takes serious reading of their blogs. Anyone to help out by picking
some hints here and there and sending them to me?

Any requests? Who should i do first? The ‘Ah Kong’ of SG Bloggers -
mrbrown?

Dua Pai Lang

Hope you guys like the new look.
Compromises of some of my old tattoo designs and some nifty Photoshop skills and voila!

Kudos to prrincess who provided me with some off the selves noobish-anyhow-also-can way of doing out the layout (Thanks JieMei~!). The rest is just something to do with the genius gene in me.

Lunch today was fabulous. Tho’ i felt VERY left out, nevertheless it holds great memories of the place and the one who introduced me to that little shop in Orchard Plaza..Who knows there will such a fabulous eatery there???

Anyway, what’s with puffy nipples and nekkid ladies? I know Singapore is has gone great lengths to cover up many of her enthical issues…but hello?? Nipples only mah? Dun make a woo-ha outta of it while you’re drooling over it can? The fact that some people are more critical of nipples (guys especially) is that they are deprived from it from age 0-3. Ah…will dig it out of my psychological text next time okaaay? The Press/Public needs to be educated, seldom you see a newspaper explain the reactions of the general public from a psychoanalytical point of view. And most of time, they just psychoanalyse the root of the issue like its pure poison.

Okay, i pity the lady from SPG. What was done as a norm in civilised First World countries else where is frowned upon in Singapore. Are we to criticise her or other countries? Or is it we are just making a helluva outrage just because she’s sweet 19 and ‘barely there’ to strike it out for herself? Come on laaa, can?
African tribal ladies can swing their sagging papayas on National Geographic, and parents still let their children sit through it but we cant see perfectly beautiful young breasts like normal humans??

Think about it. Are we Singaporeans over-reacting, or are we just too lame for nuts.

Dua Pai Lang