Welcome back, my old friend.

1 week’s all you got with me. Chereish the time.
After the week’s gone, it’s either you or her.

I’ll be in camp for the week. May not have any updates at all.

Enjoy your week.

Bye,
Dua Pai Lang

Why are you back again and again, my dear old friend?

Didn’t we talked about this before already???

When i’m idle, drained and down, you came by with messed-up Thoughts.

Please, i don’t want it to end it that way……. What you actually want?!

GO AWAY! And Save my heart from damnation pain..

Dua Pai Lang

Hello my old friend.

Seems like i’ve not seen you around for quite a while now.

Sorry that i should have spoke to you as soon as you came. But circumstances now deemed unfavourable to me to engage a hearty talk with you.

I know why you came by, suddenly, without any prior notice.
I know why so.

I know you meant well, but i told myself i’ll not be seeing you ever so soon. Let me think, was it 5 years ago? Yes, that was the time you were with me, alone, all the time.

You said i’ve changed. True, i’ve changed. For the better, i presumed.
You said i don’t need you anymore. Not quite, i said i would still see you when the time comes.

So, it was the time.

Yea, i’ve changed and i don’t need you anymore. Cos’ i’ve got her now.

She is now the locus of my life now. For better or worse. She had brought me out of you. She gave me hope to carry on loving much more than ever. Seriously, she is what i am today.

That’s why i left you for greater reasons. You came to me as a soulmate after the she left with your blessings. I appreciate that. Through self-mutilations, self-denial and self-pity, you stood by me. I appreciate that too. That was when i thought you will be a common sight with me.

But she came along and lifted me out from you. And now, she is partly the reason you’re back.

Yes i know, you said i wasn’t good enough for her. I wasn’t, i agreed. She deserved better.

But i persever. I wanted that one last try before i quit, and be with you always. I tried, i succeed.

She’s my one last bet, and now she’s reaping me rewards day after day, endlessly.

But it’s all changed now, we are all growing up now. We are all pursuing a greater canvas in life, focusing in more diversed areas to promote our else-stagnant life. Unfortunately, i felt that i wasn’t that prominent on her canvas now. It’s hard to accept that, when your whole life revolves around her and she, giving you the attention you had given. But it’s all change now, she has asked for more of her life back, but where’s mine to be granted? Can i find it back? Could i reclaimed that void? Hard, i say. I’ve given up that much.

She asked for me to have a stronger build, stop the smoking, learn to be thrift, improve my less than average complexion. I’ve tried to, you know? I’m not making excuses here, but had she learnt much of my hardship and pain? My financial situation now is barely sufficient to sustain myself fully, i’m always worried when i can provide a better enviroment for my only parent, i can’t really commit myself to all that she asked for. I got my reasons to do things the way i wanted to, and my reasons so would be bullshit to all. That’s just me, you know? I’ve told you so, yea, last time we had such a talk.

She asked for a love that other couples had, i said i would try. I did, but less than satisfactory, i confess. I really don’t see the point of comparing with others when all she and i have, is a unique and special relationship. I don’t find the energy to achieve what others had. I wanted to do it my way with her.

She asked for changes from me all the time, i would not try to argue that. But thats what i felt, you should know too, right? I’m sorry to say that i’m not the kind to readily accept changes easily, the way i am now if the product of what i was. Very Sorry. But, i’ve never asked much from her yet, i embraced her for what she is from the day i met her. I really meant it when i said i would loved to see her age/change gracefully through the years. That’s my greatest wish of her now.

Now, she has greater priorities in life, she’s getting her life back altogether now. I agreed that we should let both of us a more space for us to grow. To achieve more in life without being tied, yes i said that myself to her. And i made that a point to do so. But i never agreed so for us to stop giving the attention that we used to share to wane. And it did so, apparently for her.

I confessed i’m not the man that you may see, deep down inside, i know you had seen me, naked, shivering and scared. Yes, that’s me, the inferior me. The one with inferior complex. I may attribute for the fact that i’m not used to get what i always wanted when i was young. Being chided by others for proclaiming what i don’t have. But i thank the fact that this is how i’ve grown to accept less things for granted, and appreciate more of life has to give. I’m contented with what i have now. Yes, thank you.

But now, that inferior complex has came over me. I’m afraid that she may find someone better than me out there, i’m afraid that she would just leave me for the better, i’m afraid that she would forget the attention i craved so much from her, i’m afraid she would chide me for such a loser i am.
I’m afraid of being unsecured.
I’m afraid to lose her.
I’m afraid of you.

I’m now learning to be a better man now, to treat ladies right, to love her right. Yes, i’m striving hard so much so i’m not used to it. But it’s anything for her. I would learn to accept the fact that i’m not the focus in life like she is in mine. I would need time to change, the possessive me. Please believe so. I would learn to let go, i promise. But i would need to learn to change first.

I would prefer to see you on happier days now, Tears. Now, please stop your endless streams. I need to change, without you.

Good Bye.

Dua Pai Lang

So, you think you are smart eh?

ANSWERS
1.. The third. Lions that haven’t eaten in three years are DEAD.

2.. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.

3.. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. Then you can tell which water came from which jug.

4.. The answer is Charcoal.

5.. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!

6.. The letter “e”, which happens to be the most common letter in the English language, does NOT appear even one time in the paragraph.

Hahah, the crazy mails i get in my office mail everyday…

Dua Pai Lang

“How would i see the rainbow in your heart, when i only see the tears showering from your eyes?”

Dua Pai Lang

Think ya clever? ya think so? ya think so? Huh???!?

Solve these! Muwahahha!

1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

5. Can you name three consecutive days without using! the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday?

6. This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.

Answers tomolo!

Dua Pai Lang

FUCK EVERYTHING.

Update:

Okay, everything’s fine now. Un-fuck everything. *waves wand*

*grin*

I’m certified to save your life now.

=D

Time to mug for exams and start on my tutorials.

FUCKING BUSY for the rest of the month….

When can i land my arse on the Land of Smiles (and bapoks), again i may ask?

Yes, it’s only a dear 19 days to go, hunny.

chao kuku!

Dua Pai Lang

Learnt CPR (Adult and baby) and choking (Adult and baby, too.) today. No more gaydar. Three funky guys from SCDF (presumely) took over.

This is Baby Anne. Ignore the tattoos, k?

This is Androgynous Anne. After years of abuse, s/he just can’t decide.

Do take some time to learn some CPR. You never knew when you gonna need it.

Why so?

Cos’ i once need it to help someone dear to me, but never knew it.

He never made it.

Dua Pai Lang

3 tutorials to be handed in in Sept.

2 (computer shite) just before my Bangkok trip which is from 9th - 12th.

1 (psycho shite) after.

Fuck.

Bangkok will have photos! Enough to blow out my flickr, ya?

On 1st-aid course now, instructor is a 50-60+ married man w/ no children. And he’s a staff nurse from RafflesMedicalGroup. And he’s gay, that’s what i think then. Tomorrow again.

Dua Pai Lang