Ok, Exams coming.
So, less updates, more studying.

Thanks to those concerned with my relationship with SA069.
Everything’s o-k-a-y.
Chapter 1 is down.

But i wouldnt count on it. Just let us walk the road down together, ya?

Its pretty frustrating, but i feel its gonna be worthed the effort.

Whatever that comes out from this relationship, i guessed i will take it with charm, i think.

I still love her the same, maybe even more. So, you guys dun come spouting nonsense to me and trying to hitch me with other girls ya? You guys should know i’m a faithful jerk. One-heart-one-girl and stuff like that.

I guessed i’m just a lovelorn fool.
Just let me keep on fooling myself, k?

Listening to Corinne May’s now. Pretty good. Thanks to Mistress #2 for sharing the album with me! Thanks!!!!

Dua Pai Lang
Current Song: Journey, Corinne May

Time to get my kick again.

Came back home to find Mom asking me “Did you see the people outside?”, while making the “*Akan bola with fanning” gesture.

Not knowing what she meant, i asked her who?

“Nah! The PAP people lor!”

“Oh, GE must be around the corner then.”, i chuckled.

Dua Pai Lang
Current Song: Nothing’s gonna change my love, George Benson

*Akan bola is a malay slang, means to hold balls of one. Adding the fanning gesture slightly gives it an edge of keeping the balls cool.

Time to wise up.
For me.
For her.
For us.
For future.

100 fucking bucks per session is damn hole-burning lor!

Dua Pai Lang
Current Song: Miss you more, BBMak

You are dead inside and don’t experience sadness
that often

Why are you sad?

You need understanding.
In your life there has been many people that
could never seem too comprehend your
personality. Now you have either become an
out-cast because of their narrow minds or you
have adjusted yourself to them, and never
letting them see who you are deep inside. You
now think that no one will ever understand you
and you hate that fact. Though you are scared
of what the effects might be if you would
decide to let someone in so you keep a safe
distance that you both curse and bless.

What Do You Need in Your Life?

cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?

People see sadness in your eyes. You seem to be
hurt deeply. You may be unhappy because you are
alone or feel like no one cares about you. Or
it may be because something very awful has
happened to you. Whatever the cause, you go
through each day just waiting for night to come
with sweet relief in the form of your dreams.
But you may have even lost hope in your dreams.
Chin up. Things should get better for you and
there is always at least one person who cares
about you. Have hope.(Image copyrighted to
Tasuki-no-Miko of deviantART)

What can people see in your eyes?

Bo liao right?

Dua Pai Lang

Kindda pretty lost myself these days, spent the whole of today studying, and thinking, and missing.
Yea.

Got so fed up with myself, decided to put my song list on random and listen to the songs belt out one by one, and write down what i think with it in the song’s duration:

??? - ?????????
How many times i had made her cry? I guessed countless. I don’t wished to make her cry, but i’m so useless at expressing myself at times that i spout things i terribly regret later. I should had know better myself, a lady’s tears are from their heart.

Radiohead - Creep
Yes, i think i’m one. i’m not listening hard enough.

??? - ?????
The song says it all.

Long Vacation OST - Close to you
Instrumental. Gives me the feeling of having someone to spent your time with, close to you. Even without saying a word.

Robbie Williams - Angels
Surprisingly, SA069 doesn’t like this song. But i feel that its quite a beautiful song. Having someone to love you to that extent is a great feeling. As what a friend once tell me; “????????????????” How True.

Rick Price - Heaven Knows
i found myself singing to it again and again, so much alike.. Its a classic.

Micheal Nyman - The Piano OST Theme
I once set my mind to learn the piano. Why? I thought it was so cool to be able to churn out classic romantics and sing a love song to your loved. But, too bad. I croak like a ugly toad, and i have webbed fingers with claws for nails. Gave that idea up.

Indecent Obsession - Fixing a broken heart
This is another classic from the 80’s. Who can forget this song?

Switchfoot - Learning to breath
This song, i like

Five for fighting - 100 years
Can a couple really love for a 100 years?

Coldplay - The Scientist
Best song E V A R.
Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry
You don’t know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And nurse me your questions
Oh let’s go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart

Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I’m going back to the start

Jon Koh - She’s gone
Sometimes, i don’t understand why must i listen to sad songs to make me feel worse….
“And time, heals everything, that’s what they say.
And i, give anything, to make her come back to stay.
she’s gone, i didn’t know it was so long.
if i can feel her in my arms,
Things wouldn’t be wrong,
it will go on and on..
she’s gone, i didn’t know it was so long.
if i can feel her in my arms,
sitting here alone,
it will go on and on..
And all, that i regret
and everything i do,
Goodbye, is that the word i need to hear?”

Dua Pai Lang
Current song: She’s Gone, Jon Koh

More workouts and cold showers! Hell yea!

On the other note, SA069 and i started on the book together today.

Great start for first session.

WOOT!~

Dua Pai Lang

“I cant let go everything at once. Let me be selfish for once, let me slowly let go…”

Dua Pai Lang
Current Song: Tong Hua, Guang Liang

Had a little accomplishment today.

1. She laughed.

2. A good-night peck.

3. The feeling of her head resting on my chest, while i give her a little shoulder/neck massage and taking in the scent of her hair.

Happy. =]

Hopefully, i could hold her hands like before..assuring and comforting.

Just bit by bit, little by little…as long as it needs to..

Dua Pai Lang
Current Song: Making love out of nothing at all, Air Supply

I am the boy my family waited for so long.

I am the boy who grew up with 3 elder sisters as playmates.

I am the boy who my sisters dressed up in their clothes.

I am the boy that couldn’t understand why i can’t have the things i wanted.

I am the boy that feels the best feeling in the world, is to stand in a breeze with a body of water in front.

I am the boy that feels that i will love someone with all my heart.

I am the son that you wanted, but never you wished to be.

I am the son that stole from you, to go on a shopping spree.

I am the son that lied, to get what i want.

I am the son that i am trying to be.

I am the son who cried when you two quarrelled.

I am the son that despise you for loving someone else.

I am the son that just crave for your attention.

I am the son that want to just spent time with you, Dad.

I am the son that cried once when you left us. I am the son at fourteen, that see you in your coffin, but couldn’t apprehend why.

I am the son that regrets that i had never had any real experiences of having you, Dad.

I am the guy that you see, but never really understand. I am the guy that introvert, he can’t stand being with you. I am the guy that really just crave for some company.

I am the guy that puts on a brave, aggressive front but is so fragile inside.

I am the guy that enjoys the simpler things in life. I am the guy that gives you my number, hoping you call when you need me.

I am the guy who listens to Evergreens, Air Supply, Bee Gees and the likes, but also to Coldplay and the likes.

I am the guy that loves the stars as much as life.

I am the guy so headstrong and bullish.

I am the guy that fell in love with you.

I am the guy that sneaks near your course block to take a peek at you. Although i don’t know you. I am the guy that is just contented to see you.

I am the guy you meet in the club. I am the guy that fumbled up your name. I am the guy that still have the skip-of-heart to see you.

I am the guy you went to star-gazing with. I am the guy that showed you the beauty of the night.

I am the guy that you fell in love with.

I am the guy that folds a paper rose for you everyday, to let you know my love for you.

I am the guy that suddenly stopped folding.

I am the guy that dance with you under the stars. Huddling together in pure silent understanding.

I am the guy who reflects on every sweet and bitter memories of us. I am the guy that traditional.

I am the guy who cried when you changed. I am the guy who can’t accept. I am the guy who is always naive and simplistic in this relationship. I am the guy who asked nothing but just to be with you.

I am the guy who cried when we did wrong. I am the guy trying to be strong.

I am the guy always faithful to you, no matter how flamboyant i am.

I am the guy who still love someone with all my heart.

i am your son, your friend and your man.

Dua Pai Lang