be my last

Posted on Wednesday 28 June 2006

Quite enjoying the two weeks break I have taken from work.

Usual stuff: Read, study, going out.

Oh, and procrastinating.

Yes, that.

No World Cup for me though. I'm not into that.

But hopes Brazil wins, fancy footwork they have there.

(And hope the Germans burn. Pui! You're right where you are coz ya the host country, no less. Thank your stars for that, muckface!) 

In other news,  ORD-ing soooooon~!

A new lease of Life arrives.

Still considering whether to extend my ORD date or not, though.

Service to Nation versus Personal Interests.

-sigh-

Dua Pai Lang 

Dua Pai Lang @ 5:57 pm
Filed under: Him-Personal
on attachment

Posted on Thursday 15 June 2006

Recently, I’ve been poring over books.

Books after books. In 3 days, I’ve digested 4 books.

Quite a feat I’ll say.

It’s a coincidence that most of them have a link between them - interpersonal relationships and the power of self-realization.

Sigmund Freud, Paulo Coelho, Redfield James, Richard Feynman and the likes.

It came clear to me that Love isn’t owning that person - but helping that person achieve his/her next stage in Life.

Think of it this way; A relationship is made up of 2 persons (usually), each with a purpose. But that purpose is unclear to them till they met each other, sort of like 2 ‘C’s making a whole ‘O’. It reveals that the attachment is good, and both is giving and taking in each other.

But a day will come, when the whole ‘O’ finds that both heads tend to talk at the same time and not listening inwards. That’s when a power struggle emerges to gain each other’s attention to listen inwards to that person.

And usually, one party will but not both.

Sad case, but it’s very true.

Many a times, I’ve seen such scenes happening all around me, including myself. We yearn the other party’s attention so much so, we demanded it by all means.

It dawned to me all after I’ve reflected on what the authors tried to convey. It glues together it all.
Relationships sometimes fail because we had stopped listening inwards to our shared being. Sometimes it works in a less than ideal way when the vicious cycle of quarrel-make up occurs again and again.

But what for?

Wouldn’t it be ideal if we could go through a lifetime with little tiffs and laugh about it at the end of the day?

I say, it will be good if couples can spend time firstly on balancing their own personal lives, then balancing the delicate scale of being a couple, the whole ‘O’. Chill out with friends, meet up with relatives, know new friends, experience new stuff - don’t miss out in your own personal life expectations because of attachement.

Next, then you tackle the other being, the personal being you share with your partner. It is no less different than you on your own. As alone, people see and acknowledge as who you are. With your partner, you are seen as one entity with him/her.

And that being, needs whatever that you may need personally and ever more, with the needs of your partner.

Enjoy the simpler things in Life - take walks in all kinds of weathers, enjoy the wind, the scenery and the simple marvels of beauty existing in Nature. It’s like a newborn, trying out the different parts of his body as the nerves connect and reach out, as like the couple - they both have different vibes, and they need to work out something to sync the vibes on the same level.

And you progess together, as One. Into another purpose in Life, a whole new level. A self-realization of all parties.

I dare not say that I’m acting on what I’m preaching here. But I’m doing it bit by bit.

Letting her understand little by little.

Knowing her already had gave me a purpose - to let her feel Love.

For hers, it’s up to her to find out. But she wouldn’t be alone this time.

Dua Pai Lang

Dua Pai Lang @ 1:43 am
Filed under: Him-Personal and His-RandomRamblings
revelations of closure

Posted on Wednesday 14 June 2006

In life, we meet many of people.

Some who influenced you. Some that nurture, some who walk with you and some who is just there.

I have met people from all walks of life, and relish on the little feeble indulgence of just understanding them through their ways.

Something i shouldn’t, but it’s just a naughty habit.

People pass through each other’s lives like myriad shadows; Subtlely changing each other.

Friends, enemies, blood-related and even strangers. An act from is all that is needed to change forever the paths of each other. We are all woven into the fabric of Life and Fate, holding onto our own Destiny, and somewhere, sometime there’s always someone.

I seek closure of my past today, reading of the words I’ve hearted down in the fabric of the web, seeking solace. Things that I’ve done, not done, cried, laughed. Scattered into the superhighway of this medium.

I dare not forget my past.

No, I don’t.

The past is made up of many of the longpast present, and in each; I play my role as the lead into my Destiny.

But I do not dare venture into the future yet. For I still can’t promise the things I do not have in my hands.

I speak of my heart, and say.

It’s the every second we call ‘present’ toiling onwards into the unknown future. And not a second lost.

Sometimes, it’s that one second that seems all worthwhile.

“Because I don’t live in either my past or my future. I’m interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you’ll be a happy man. You’ll see that there is life in the desert, that there are stars in the heavens, and that tribesmen fight because they are part of the human race. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we’re living right now.”
- the camel driver to the boy; The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

And i seek closure to my past.

The present is liven with shimmering hope, with someone.

Every.single.moment. On this path with her.

Dua Pai Lang

Dua Pai Lang @ 1:12 am
Filed under: His-RandomRamblings
its the suit that makes the man

Posted on Sunday 11 June 2006

Tees and jeans, and shorts with slippers.

I wear them every other day.

But once i don a suit, no one recognises me.

Very hard meh?

Dua Pai Lang

Dua Pai Lang @ 3:30 pm
Filed under: Him-Personal
and this is for memories to come

Posted on Sunday 11 June 2006

Love Entwines and Love Flows.
Of said Love I give to you,
Stems from my very Soul.

Of all the time passed,
And of all the late blooms,
What can i asked for more?
Than your smile in moonlight glow.

Take these wings
And lead me to that special place.
For yours truly,
and truthfully yours in every beat.

Till we see the silvers in our hair,
and the laughter in the house.
Till we sit together in the sunset flow
and the kisses on the lips…..

I love you, I know I do.

Dua Pai Lang

Dua Pai Lang @ 3:33 am
Filed under: Him-Personal
i got do tutorial one, okay?

Posted on Sunday 11 June 2006

Below is an essay I’ve written in a rush, which incidentally scored an 80.

Haa~

Fully Copyrighted. I mean it.

If ya wanna get an essay done, write it yourself.

Or pay me. And pay me good.

“In the evolutionary line of the humans, we are faced with problems from the beginning of time. From the basics of finding shelter to the complexity of hunting as a group, we had progressed tremendously from then. However, in today’s context, we are far from able to solve problems efficiently as we thought we could. What is a problem? And why everyday people find it hard to solve problems? In this essay, we sought to understand different constraints involving solving a problem successfully.

A problem is defined as a situation where a person (the solver) implicitly, is faced without any means and/or information to achieve his goals. Though this may be temporal, it is rather frustrating for most of us. The constraints that we would face in any problem-solving situation can be broadly categorized into 4 main areas, namely; Linguistic skills, Visual perception, Memory and Problem Representation, which in most of the time; more than 1 element could be present as constraints. The following texts will bring us through each area and see how it affects us to solve problems successfully.

When posed with a problem in the form of written text or spoken language, we tend to interpret it as it is read or spoken. But in certain cases, we get misled by the words itself. The constraint we face here is the level of our linguistic skills versus the context of the problem, which is how well or ill-defined the problem is. If we couldn’t understand the problem well, we could not be able to find the means to solve it. Given a simple matter of a riddle, how well would a child and an adult measure up? With the child’s weak command of the language, compared to an adult’s, we could safely assume that the adult would fare better in comprehending the riddle than the child.

Furthermore, language plays an important part in successful problem solving. Being effectively versed in language, will be a plus. As noted in the previous paragraph, on the notion of being misled by words, it would take a person to understand a deeper underlying structure of the texts than to only scratch the surface structure of the problem. We would need an extensive array of understanding to able to interpret, analyse and finding the right words to comprehend the problem.

The way we perceive a problem visually is also one of the constraints we face in. For instance, given a situation of parking a car, we would need to visualise how would the car fit into the parking lot, how would we turn the steering wheel at the correct angle, consider will we hit the cars beside the lot or will we to find another lot. The way we perceive the problem visually is largely attributed to the way to the state space analysis we conceive in our problem solving process. Consider the Maier’s (1931) ‘two-string’ problem, where a participant is needed to tie two ends of two strings hanging from the ceiling. The problem is when a participant held on to one end of the string, they could not reach over and hold the other end of the other string. They perceive this as a seemingly impossible task. However, as a subtle hint to the participants before they hang themselves, the experimenter ‘apparently accidentally’ brushes across one of the string to set it swinging. Soon after, participants were found to devise ways to set one of the strings swinging by pendulum effect and successfully tie both strings together. By noticing that effect caused by the experimenter, participants were able to visualise and work out a solution by hindsight, after desperate attempts failing to notice the objects that are placed around them. This shows that by narrowing our attention to the problem, we fail to see that the solution is in the problem itself and/or around the problem.

In memory, we hold many past experiences of solving problems successfully. In every instance we solved a problem successfully; we commit the process and the end result into our memories and use it again in the future to solve related problems. However, this poses a rather constricting barrier. Should we be faced by another problem that is similar in surface structure but the goal is different in the deep structure, we tend to apply what we had remembered doing previously into the problem regardless whether it helps or not. We will feel stumped and puzzled. Past experiences have formed schemas that we fall back to in this instance. In the study conducted by Reed, Ernst and Banerji (1974), participants were ask to solve two problems – Missionaries and Cannibals and then Missionaries and Cannibals; or Jealous Husbands and Jealous Husbands again; or Missionaries and Cannibals and the Jealous Husbands; or Jealous Husbands and then Missionaries and Cannibals. Some of the participants are told hints about the relationship between the two problems. The results from the Reed et al. experiment shows that there is considerable improvement when previous experiment facilitates the solution of the second question if the second question is simpler than the first; that is, having a simpler deeper structure than the previous attempt. This goes on to that schemas are formed when we solved a problem. However, when faced with a harder problem, the schema we tried to apply on the problem will not applicable. We re-route our schema and assess the problem again and again till another pattern forms.

The way we represent a problem in our mind differs from each and every individual. Given the same problem to two participants for the first time, they will present two variations of what they think will be the solution. The way they represent the problem strongly influences their way of solving it, whether it could be done at all. The problem with representation is that it could simplify the problem into everyday context where participants are able to connect and relate to or, it could further complicate matters by confusing the participants. With the discussion of the previous 3 areas, representation is uniform across all areas. Consider that we represent what we hear or read with our internal lexicon, we represent what we see with past experiences and find similarities between and lastly, we when we are faced with a problem, we try to represent or visualise the problem in our mind to find means of solving it.

Hayes (1978) used two examples to illustrate the issue of problem representation, the 62-square checkerboard problem and the 62 young people problem. In the checkerboard problem, two diagonally opposite corners have been removed. The participant is tasked to place 31 dominoes over the 62 remaining squares; where each domino could cover exactly 2 squares and if not, explain why. In another similar problem of the 62 young people, there are 30 men and 32 women to be paired up. Most people will find it hard to answer both questions. However, Hayes finds out, when both problems were presented in more everyday terms, participants found it easier to answer the questions. He argues that “people do not always construct an optimal representation of a problem. But the way a problem is presented to help them to achieve a more useful representation.

To conclude, constraints in successful problem solving are present no matter how well-versed we are in our problem-solving skills. In comparison between novice programmers and expert programmers, their difference is where their experiences are. The expert programmer, being well-versed in the programming language (and probably debugged ten of thousands of lines before), will find it easier to relate to past experiences when they encounter a problem compared to the novice programmer. So this brings us a interesting point of whether does experiences help in finding solutions faster/better or does it constraints us further by restricting us into the well-trodden paths that we had taken every time?”

Dua Pai Lang

Dua Pai Lang @ 3:17 am
Filed under: Him-Personal
and so she gives me life

Posted on Friday 9 June 2006

I’m hitched.

Yup. That’s it.

Not your average know-for-3-days-then-ai-kia-steady-mai? type, but a slow, progressive relationship stretched over 6 months.

One great thing is that,I remain what i am, for who I am to her.

I need not see to the point that I need to carve out another pseudo-piece to give her that boyfriendly figure.

It’s just me. And that’s me to her.

So, true. We do have afew issues that we disapprove of each other. But we do talk (Read: Matured talk.) about it and settle the issues by compromising and assuring.

How much is that?

Really, it’s comforting to be with her.

And the thought of losing her who makes my life complete, just makes me want to love her even harder.

No one’s perfect, but we both know we’re lucky to find each other to make a whole, all this while.

Dua Pai Lang

Dua Pai Lang @ 1:14 am
Filed under: Him-Personal
and so all is lost

Posted on Tuesday 6 June 2006

Oh well. freesql.org went down with 4 fucking months of my posts.

So now, I’m back here. For the time being, till freesql comes up with my posts.

It’s like amnesia, man.

A void of 4 months of literal memories.

Where has it go?

Does the words fail my memories, or had memories become an entertainment to the whoknows?

Dua Pai Lang

Dua Pai Lang @ 11:33 pm
Filed under: Him-Personal