from the asshat chronicles.

Dua Pai Lang

According to this study, it has found that gorgeous babes that found an average dude as their partner enjoy longer lasting relationships and marital bliss.

…Professor Jim McNulty reported: “Men who were more attractive than their partner demonstrated a tendency to offer less emotional and practical support to their wives.”

He said “evolutionary perspectives” offered an explanation.

“Attractive men have available to them more short-term mating opportunities.

“This may make them less satisfied and less committed to the marital relationship.”

Strathclyde University psychologist Alastair Ross said many men enjoyed the prestige of having a beautiful wife.

“Men are rated as more likeable and friendly when they have a wife who is very attractive,” he added.

So, don’t get all sourgrapes when the next fugly dude (me) is out with a hot babe (missus).

It’s just you, pretty boy.

In other news, will be attending a seminar with missus at the Marriage Convention this Sunday. Let’s see how it goes.

Dua Pai Lang

Missus: Aww don’t be silly. U aren’t ugly. Love u all the same! Muacks.

Vagina Spa is the latest hype! Read about it via Asiaone and went to google it. Found some information on it… 

facts on it
promotion in sg 

As you understand from the articles, the spa treatments are meant to help freshen, tighten vaginas. Wooot. How come never heard of penis spa? =.=

Missus

OMG. There is this aunty who is in her 50s and single – super horny and working in my department. There was this random guy around 20s wearing striped blue shirt using our pc and printer when she pranced over and blatantly exclaimed:

Horny Aunty: Wah, which department are you from?

Unsuspecting Lad: Err OSS.

Horny Aunty: Wah you very handsome hor?

Unsuspecting Lad gives surprised look and replied: Err oor. Errr thank you?

Horny Aunty: Wah so handsome. Hehe your shirt very nice hor? From where?

Unsuspecting Lad: Australia.

Horny Aunty smiles, beams at him and walks away, obviously drooling and glint in eyes. She’s probably having fantasisies now with him – top naked. Luckily he was covered by the desk from the waist down.

OMG she’s really teeko man! 6 months back we had a male temp and she quickly flashes her claws and laid her claim on him and keep buying food for him. Is this decent? Office relationships – albeit one-sided? The worst is she’s mean to the new girls.

DPL claims he’s an aunty killer too. Wonder if all aunties do the same to young lads too?

Missus

DPL: she’s a cougar!

Three sundays ago I was reading this article and it touched me. I have always enjoyed Sumiko Tan’s stories and I sincerely think she’s one brave woman who is courageous enough to write about her real life and to depict true scenarios as well. She’s not afraid to stand up for herself and admit that she’s single and mature and not settling down in the meantime! It’s not easy fighting social expectations when women are expected to marry, conceive and have a harmonious family by the age of 35.

Like her, I used to be single and alone. Yes, I had friends who were always there for me if I needed but haven’t you heard that you can be also be lonely when you are with 100 people? Being alone and lonely are different. I had times when I badly wondered what it felt like to be attached and to be supported by another. I wondered why I was single when there was totally nothing wrong with me. I thought I was eccentric and friends thought I was either lesbian or just plain choosy. I thought I needed a wake up call and to tell the whole world that there’s nothing wrong with me. Thank you very much. They thought I was sexist and speculated that I would want a rich guy who is great looking and highly qualified. Not true. I don’t have a criteria and never despise men who has lesser than what I have mentioned above.

When I revealed that I have not been into any serious relationship and that I was 24 years old, everyone balk at the idea. I felt like a extinct animal being on display. =.= Perhaps I have had support and love from my family and friends, I never truly felt lonely most of the time. I had my sister, always there for me as we partake in activities together and I often meet up with my friends and ex-colleagues. Maybe I also never truly experienced true love, that’s why I don’t crave for it and thought it was ok to miss out in this area. “Life’s more than just couple love!” That was my favourite phrase to console my friends who shared the same fate as me.

But to read about how Sumiko felt when her friend told her that she’s a sad woman, my heart just went out to her. It’s true that everyone wants to be deemed as nice, co-operative people but for someone to tell her in the face about her shortcoming, her friend is brave too. Often we need someone close to us to tell us our flaws and scream at us to allow us to stay on the right track. I know only those who truly care would want the best for you. They wouldn’t mind incurring your wrath to warn or advise you. But no one can take away the hurt and sadness you feel when someone points out to you. But the good thing is, you would attempt to get over it if it’s said by someone closest to you because you couldn’t bear the thought of ignoring or blaming them for your shortcomings. Time heals all wounds and though cliche, it’s true that only you can allow yourself to be hurt and only yourself allow others to put you down. Conquer your own fears and fight your own demons. You can have allies but you still need to combat your own battle.

Missus

I guess I’ve had broached lightly on this topic before; the ‘Spark’, the ‘Honeymoon’ and the ‘Head over Heels’ period in a relationship.

From the wikipedia,

The honeymoon period is the phase early in a long-term relationship characterized by greater than typical joy and lesser than typical friction. Usually during this time there is much more physical contact between the two partners in the relationship. In a political context, it is the early period in a political term during which constituents are less demanding and more forgiving of their representative. This is also true early on in marriage – spouses seem to be more forgiving and loving than they would be later on in the relationship.

I once read a scientific article that explains the biological going-ons when attraction is first felt and then developed into the ’spark’. I basically highlight the points that both party would experience mental conditions similar to ‘irrationality’ and ‘drunkenness’. Sounds familiar? You bet ‘cha. During the course of a courtship, couples would experience such profound je ne sais quoi about each other that they would just giggle and laugh when you ask what of the partner that attracts him/her.

Such infatuation with other, i would say, is healthy and encouraged. It is the inherent condition in us to stay focused and committed with someone/something. But all good things would come to an end and the spark would fade, what would be left is a bare naked feeling of ache for familiarity. The sense of attachment for the person that had you head over heels and the conversance of what he/she had done during the period.

Admit it. We are all creatures of familiarity and habits. When we grow accustomed to the usuals, we usually take it for granted. And when we want to evolve to the next phase in the relationship, we are reluctant to do so. Don’t you agree?

what i still believe in and think in order for a couple to progress is that, communication plays a major role. It is vital that a continual effort from both parties to communicate efficiently their ideas and needs to each other, in order to evolve in the same direction. Without such commitment, misunderstandings arises and couples do drift apart. The usual tiff about ‘YOU’VE CHANGED!’ and ‘YOU DON’T LOVE ME THE SAME ANYMORE!’ would usually come out at this time.

there are indeed ways to keep the spark;

• doing things together e.g. cooking, travelling
• re-discovering old dating haunts
• engaging each other intellectually, physically and spiritually
• trying new things together <- VERY IMPORTANT!
• make love more <–fitti’s input
• mushy sms <– Dowagr’s input
• I think it’s important to never stop dating each other. <– kitteh’s

Of course, different strokes for different people. Do try to speak to your partner to find out more. Most important is that you two should communicate and take the initiative.

AskMen has a very good read if you bother.

DPL thanks cowboybar’s chatroom barflies for some incoherent inputs.

Dua Pai Lang

Missus: I enjoy this entry and the read. I agree that it’s a good read. It’s quite sad how some relationships turned out to nothing but guess it’s inevitable so good communication is the key? And errr too much sex is bad? ;p

“L is for the way you look at me…”

“O is for the only one I see…”

“V is very very extraordinary…”

“E is even more than anyone that you can adore”

L-O-V-E, one of my favourite songs by Nat King Cole and recently sung by Olivia Ong. I still remembered I heard this song playing from Gramaphone as I walked past it. I didn’t think too much of it and thought it was just another young female wannabe belting out the tune. But it haunted me and I kept thinking about it. When I was with DPL out at Orchard Road one day, suddenly occured to me to look for the song. I didn’t even know who Oliva Ong was until DPL told me about her. Wondering why I am mentioning her? Because the song means a lot to me. I have always been single until recently and whenever I hear this song (back then), I thought it was sweet and often wondered how it would feel like to be in love. Check the lyrics out – it’s self-explanatory. Whenever I hear the song, I wondered and marvelled at the beauty of the song and imagined my life with LOVE in it. But never have I gathered the courage or had the right opportunity to fulfill this little nagging wonderment.

Now that I am attached, I am seeing the song in a different light. It still makes me swoon and sing along with it but I realised that there’s more than it meets the eye. It is so simplistic – “two in love can make it” and “love was made for me and you”. Such dreamy, perfect phrases. Yes it’s easy to declare you are in love and that you and your partner are made for each other – during the honeymoon period. But what happens after the relationship is stabilised? After that, what’s the next chapter? Does it go straight to the ending or worst, sad epilogue? Which couple wouldn’t want their story to go on, to many infinite chapters? I am sure that there is this nagging fear and DPL and I even thought about this carefully before we attempted to fill up our own storybook.

And before you decide to get married, ask yourself, ‘How do you know it’s LOVE’? How do you have an answer whether your current partner is THE ONE? Thomas Moore (author, psychotherapist and lecturer of many relationship issues) believes that there is a difference between love, being in love and getting married. The article is insightful and made me ponder. Have a read if you are in a relationship, unsure about what your future lies ahead or simply just curious to know more.

From the article, I learnt not to rush into things, to be in control no matter how difficult it might seemed and to communicate even when the relationship is in a stable phase. Often, insufficient or simply no communication is the downfall of many relationships. A pity if you were to ask me. However life is not a fairytale and I know it is inevitable for relationships to fail. Looking at my parents, I understand the challenges of communication between a couple. Yes they love each other dearly and would never be able to bear the thought of living without each other. But they don’t communicate much. They are together but I can tell both aren’t very happy individuals at the time being. I would love for them to talk more and be happier. One doesn’t listen and the other don’t bother to explain – very common problem since one feels that he’s tried explaining for eons and she just doesn’t listen. If she could understand, she would have done so long ago. But dad never ask himself: what about the method? Maybe he is just not rubbing mum in the right way or doing it at the right time?

So what really happens when the spark has gone ‘poof’ in your relationship? Does that mean THE END? What about the past chapters of beautiful love story which both have painstakingly written together? Just bury it within each other’s memories? What a waste and that’s not the right place to do so! Love shouldn’t leave without a good fight. I know that once the spark has gone off, it’s tough. Everything is a drag, lifting an extra finger is a chore and tolerating one’s quirk seemed so irritable when it seemed so endearing the past. Things change, people are less tolerant and have higher expectations of each other – that’s where the problem starts to boil. My friend, married for 20 years odd told me he regretted making major decisions in his life, one of which, is to marry his wife. His wife is a fine lady but he felt that she deserved better. Insecurities formed and one’s self worth declined. That’s what happens when the honeymoon period is over. Sounds scary. It’s as if I am seeing the worst in someone at all once when all along, I was blind to it? Imagine being bewitched, marrying and sleeping with an ogre for 20 years and waking up one day when the spell vanished – to see the ogre and baby ogres! Is that the kind of feeling?

I asked myself if I would want this to happen to me and DPL. I don’t. He doesn’t as well. At the moment, we just want to be with each other. We will try to fight the ‘change’ and work together to weave many chapters of our life together. We believe that if both have a common objective and mutual understanding and expectations, we could possibly make this work. In the meantime, whenever he calls me, ringtone of “L-O-V-E” still continues to play…

Missus

What every woman expects……..

He will be a brilliant conversationalist.

He will be sensitive, kind, understanding and loving.

He will be a very hard working man.

He will help around the house by washing dishes, vacuming the floors and taking care of the garden.

He will be a man of emotional and physical strength.

He will be as smart as Einstein but look like Harrison Ford.

……….but what she actually gets

He always takes her to the best restaurants, someday he will take her inside.

He doesn’t have any answers, he just gives them.

Anytime he gets an idea in his head, he has the whole thing in a nutshell.

He is well known as a miracle worker, it’s a miracle when he works.

He supports his wife in the manner to which she was accustomed, he lets her keep her job.

He is such a bore, that he even bores her to death when he gives her a compliment.

He has occasional flashes of silence that make his conversation brilliant.

After a man finds out his ‘woman’ is no angel, he tries to ascertain to what extent she isn’t.

Dua Pai Lang

Missus: Actually does not apply to all women. For me, I just want a husband who loves me. Those other nitty gritty things should take place naturally if that criteria is met.

According to the article, a woman’s looks matter to a man most. I don’t need survey results to tell me that! If any guy were to tell me that looks does not matter to them, I would laugh at him, call him a hypocrite and walk away.

After reading the article, I decided that men are rather spoilt animals. They like their partner to look good, well-groomed and yet possess fine inner qualities. They even think carrying their bags, opening the doors and paying for their meals – a trait of being spoilt! Goodness then what are the benefits of being a woman? Furthermore, they would want their girlfriends to allow them to hang out with other female friends and she must enjoy hanging out with his guy friends! And even though so much modern expectations are being plough onto women, only 30 men out of 85 (35%) ranked traits like offering to pay her share on dates and paying for her own shopping in their Top Three. Zzz.

So if I read it correctly, you are only desirable or deemed ‘ideal’ by men if you are pretty, well-groomed, has great personality, generous and independent? Then why do I need a man for? =.= With those traits, I could be a career woman and earn loads of money, manipulate men to climb up the corporate ladder.

I feel quite sad for my other friends who are not too blessed in the looks department. They are not ugly but usually have a weight problem. It’s tough being skinny ok! Try working and eating and sitting down at the office and not get fat! It’s tough! Anyway they are perfectly fine women, with great personality and make great housewives and capable workers but just because they don’t look too pleasant on the outside doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to be loved. Even when I was helping my friend organise a speed-dating session, I saw the cruelty of life.

Looks does matter. You know how speed-dating works? A group of men and women (preferred to be equal number) gets together at a restaurant and each has a number. Man talks to woman and moves on to the next (takes one sit to the right) after 3 mins. So there I was ringing the bell every 3 min and hustling the guys to the next seats, I thought the men were behaving well. They seemed generally interested in the women and pretty much want to know them more. However after the session when they were all supposed to tick and decide which male/female they would like to continue dating or knowing, many chose two particular men and women. When I tabulated the results and reviewed, I realised these 4 people were the cream la de cream of the lot. It didn’t come as a surprise to me but it just boil down to how superficial the world really is. Happened that one of the female was a lawyer (looks great – tall, slim, well-groomed, well spoken and pleasant looking) and the other female was a professional with a doctorate (small, petite, soft spoken and demure). Great grabs for the latter cos she’s the IDEAL woman! Guys wise, many picked the stable, mature and pleasant looking guy.

So what happens to the rest of the men and women who were there? Sorry but no one in the group wants to continue a relationship with you? That’s so harsh and cruel but yes, that’s what happened. =.= One guy even said that one female candidate was so scary and intimidating that he almost peed in his pants! He said that he was so traumatised that he didn’t want to see her again. Pity cos that candidate chose to get to know him better. In this case, we can’t reveal the contact of the guy to her.

Yeah that’s my personal experience at dealing with the harsh cruel life – looks does matter and it brings you far if you know how to use it well. For those who are less fortunate in this area, just have to work harder and count on make up and exercise regime. It’s either you go with the flow or you drown trying to fight the waves. Haiz.

Missus

DPL: now i know u like chao ahbengs like me

Missus: erm I don’t like chao ah bengs. You are a mistake. =.= Start gorging on food and show me some fats please. Just so happened I like your ‘insides’, not your shell but I can’t help it when it comes in a package. Unlike Macdonalds…where I can change the drink as I deem fit. Take something I don’t like, in exchange for something I like. Haiz. So I am a victim here. Darn. =.=

Yippee found a great wedding site! It’s ideal for cash-strapped people like us and many more out there. However, if you need to throw traditional wedding dinner at a hotel, this might not work.

The dresses are so beautiful! Especially the bridesmaid’s. I don’t mind being a bridesmaid for 27 times or more if I get to wear these gowns (of course, get to keep them too! !

Check it out: http://www.destinationweddings.com/

http://www.destinationweddingdresses.com/

Can’t resist but to show them off! Highlights!

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